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David Hines [userpic]

MJ, did you throw out your back?

May 11th, 2007 (04:55 pm)
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So, via ficbyzee I found this, which is simply awful. The basic concept isn't completely horrible in and of itself; it could have been kind of a cute domestic visual, like those great Ditko/Romita panels of Peter sewing up holes in his Spidey suit (and hey, that would be an *adorable* statue -- they always drew Peter looking terribly determined but frustrated, and it'd be a hoot in three dimensions if the sculptor could get the facial expression right). But the folks at Sideshow elected to sex it up; MJ is bent over, barefoot, with strategically ripped jeans, arching her back (ow ow ow), and wearing a tight shirt showing nineteen kinds of cleavage. Also, her thong is on display, and her abdomen is horribly narrow compared to the rest of her, to the point that you wonder what happened to her liver.

The text in the catalog is actually the capper: the consummate "girl next door," Mary Jane discovers that her superhero husband has slipped some of his laundry into the mix, but she's not looking too displeased about Peter's naughty little transgression. ...um, yeah.

(Also: MJ? Not the girl next door. I know in the movies she is, but in the comics, she's not, and one of the things that makes her so interesting to Peter in their early days is that she moves in completely different circles than he does.)

Who the heck buys these things? It ain't me.

Comments

Posted by: Mara (marag)
Posted at: May 11th, 2007 09:52 pm (UTC)
Girl Wonder

Who the heck buys these things? It ain't me.

And that, dear, is why we like you. Do yourself a favor and don't go read the comments about this statue on the Sideshow forum. ::winces:: It will not make you feel better about other guys.

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: May 12th, 2007 12:59 pm (UTC)

It doesn't make me ashamed to be male or anything -- I'm actually a little baffled or even annoyed when folks make ritual disclaimers of that type, to be honest; it comes off as lame. ("It's okay to like me! Really! I disavow the accident of my birth!")

Dorian of postmodernbarney had an interesting post on the aesthetics of male cheesecake that I think offers an interesting counterpoint. The old-school beefcake shots he cites are closer to the classical aesthetic, and I think that's the kind of thing comic sculptures should be looking to do for their sexier sculpts (male and female alike). The Maxim approach just feels sleazy and low-rent.

Posted by: Mara (marag)
Posted at: May 12th, 2007 01:03 pm (UTC)
Brainy and Koko

Oh, I don't think you should be ashamed to be male, just that you might get annoyed at *other* males :D

And yes, I don't mind cheesecake, but sleazy is another matter.

Posted by: Anastasia Mitrevski (rushin_doll)
Posted at: May 12th, 2007 02:53 am (UTC)

It is a little known fact that MJ does indeed have a superpower. The simple version is that she is able to live without the vast majority of her internal organs and is also able to survive without a spine.

It's true, I swear,
Ana

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: May 12th, 2007 12:51 pm (UTC)
archie skull

All is clear to me now.

Thank you.

Posted by: mendori (mendori)
Posted at: May 12th, 2007 04:55 am (UTC)

First thought: My back doesn't bend that way....

Second thought: No wonder she's bent weird, she's WAY top heavy.

Third thought: Wow, what a pathology specimen she would make skeletonized....

....I'm going to go hide.

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: May 12th, 2007 12:53 pm (UTC)
wonder woman

Well, they did release a Marvel Zombies statue that featured Zombie!Peter and a partially-eaten Mary Jane. She wasn't exactly skeletonized there, of course, but Peter was, partially.

...really, who buys these things???

Posted by: PROBE UNIVERSE (liviapenn)
Posted at: May 12th, 2007 02:26 pm (UTC)
marvel: natasha calls bullshit


At least that zombie sculpt had kitsch value. Like, if I saw it on a shelf at someone's house, yeah, I'd totally think "You might have just a *little* too much money and not quite enough sense, dude," but I'd also probably assume that at least you liked it in an *ironic* sort of way. I mean, it's a beautiful, gorgeously crafted little objet d'art... of zombie Spider-Man. It works on so many levels! ;)

That Mary Jane sculpture, though... I mean, if I saw that in someone's... actually, now I'm imagining a Venn diagram of (People who have bought this sculpture) and (People who will actually ever have a woman in their house at some point) and... it's really less of a Venn diagram than just two bubbles way over on two totally different pages, so my theoretical opinion of what I might conclude (as a woman) if I ever saw this sculpture in its native habitat is kinda like my theoretical opinion of what I'd conclude if I ever saw a unicorn.

Actually, on my diagram, the bubble for (Person who has a suspicious lot of unicorns hanging around the house) probably overlaps the bubble for (People who have bought this sculpture) rather significantly. Coincidence? Who can tell!

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