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David Hines [userpic]

APED: "Jim Gordon's lot"

March 25th, 2009 (07:12 pm)

beatrice_otter requested a poem about Jim Gordon. With apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan, after the policemen's song in THE PIRATES OF PENZANCE.

Gotham City's not the safest place to visit (place to visit)
The asylum can't keep inmates locked inside (locked inside)
It looks secure, but tell me, really? Is it? (really is it)
If they can't get out, it's 'cause they haven't tried. (haven't tried)
You don't know yet, but you will soon discover (soon discover)
the inmates often go out on the run (on the run)
when one's locked up, the next night springs another (springs another)
So Jim Gordon's lot is not a happy one.
Ah!
When Arkham's inmates go out on the run (on the run)
then Jim Gordon's lot is not a happy one. (happy one.)

When the Riddler isn't busy with his riddling, (with his riddling)
when Two-Face forsakes the crimes he does in twos, (does in twos)
when Mad Hatter's packed up all his kiddy-fiddling, (kiddy-fiddling)
when the Joker's jokes don't ever make the news (make the news)
when Mr. Szasz can't look for limbs to sever (limbs to sever),
the police can eat their donuts in the sun, (in the sun)
but, alas, it seems those days are almost never -- (almost never)
so Jim Gordon's lot is not a happy one.
Ah!
When Arkham's inmates go out on the run (on the run)
then Jim Gordon's lot is not a happy one. (happy one.)

Comments

Posted by: Elspeth (elspethdixon)
Posted at: March 26th, 2009 01:00 am (UTC)

Batman filk FTW!

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: March 27th, 2009 04:37 am (UTC)

Thankee!

Posted by: DUCKS CAN'T TALK. (very_improbable)
Posted at: March 26th, 2009 04:02 am (UTC)
drink to that

\o/

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: March 27th, 2009 04:37 am (UTC)

Huzzah!

Posted by: Cerlian (cerlian)
Posted at: March 26th, 2009 08:04 am (UTC)

Pirates of Penzance! I loooooove it! Aaaaand then I tried to sing it.

*fail*

Some parts are INGENIOUS. Others...*cough* Usually your meter's great. This one though...some parts are really painful. The first line, especially.

Still, I love how you managed to filk it. XD

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: March 27th, 2009 04:38 am (UTC)

Really? It scans fine when I sing it, though the fifth line is a little iffy.

Ah well, into every life a little fail must fall!

Posted by: Cerlian (cerlian)
Posted at: March 27th, 2009 05:28 am (UTC)

Eh, I guess I just inflect on different syllables is all. Accents from the other side of the world, wot.

The fifth line seems fine, though.

(The sheer awesome of some of the lines where the lyrics are closely similar overpowers the taste of the fail)

Posted by: Petra (petronelle)
Posted at: March 27th, 2009 09:01 pm (UTC)

This made me giggle on a dark and icky morning. Thank you.

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