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David Hines [userpic]

APED: "friggin' in the (serenity) riggin'"

April 1st, 2009 (09:04 pm)

I appear to be in a musical mood this week. mymatedave requested a poem about Joss Whedon's FIREFLY, and my thought was: hey, you know what the fandom really needs? A filk of "Friggin' in the Riggin'!"


Our firefly, Serenity
offers fine amenities
big swinging dicks,
and bouncing tits,
and pansexual identities!

The Captain of our vessel
says he likes to wrestle
with pretty girls
in baby oil
the hell he'll go to's special!

(cho.) Friggin in the riggin'
wankin' in the plankin'
masturbatin' in the gratin'
there was fuck-all else to do!

Inara's always screwing
And when that's what she's doing
Mal gets drunk,
Jayne's in his bunk,
and Kaylee is me-too-ing!

Zoe's husband's her joy
("Shave off that moustache, boy!")
and for her part
she won his heart
with dinosaur-shaped sex toys.

Jayne's true love is Vera
at night he brings her near-a.
When he explodes
and shoots his load
it's loud enough to hear-a.

The Doctor's fond of pleasure
and Kaylee's got his measure --
what took so long
for Simon's dong
to get between her nethers?

The engineer's a cutie.
Kaylee knows her duty:
strapped on a cock for
our good doctor,
did him in the booty!

The doctor's sister's crazy
but River is a daisy
she'll watch her brother
fuck another
girl when she gets lazy!

The shepherd's hair is scary
it startles the unwary
his pubes so thick
they hid his dick
when he took River's cherry!

And me? I'm Wash. I fly things.
My hands can make controls sing --
a leaf on wind
we've landed in --
WHOA, THERE! WHAT'S THAT SHARP THING?

Comments

Posted by: 3fgburner (3fgburner)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2009 01:19 am (UTC)

You realize, of course, that there are those of us who plan to memorize a bunch of those verses. I just sang through it...

[ETA] Holy shit, I just found out that most of the verses I know are from Loudoun Waingwright III's version. I thought the only song of his I knew was "Dead Skunk".

Edited at 2009-04-02 01:22 am (UTC)

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2009 12:54 am (UTC)

You realize, of course, that there are those of us who plan to memorize a bunch of those verses.

With my flist, I fully expected that half the people would be able to sing along immediately.

Check out Loudoun Wainwright's "Swimming Song." Goofy, cheerful, but deeply meaningful for me.

Posted by: 3fgburner (3fgburner)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2009 01:18 am (UTC)

If it hasn't been posted to the Firefly community(ies) yet, mind if I shoot them a link to this post?

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2009 03:43 am (UTC)

It's the internet, dude, I don't think I can *stop* you. I will probably *facepalm* a bit, though.

Posted by: Coaster (coasterchild)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2009 01:32 am (UTC)
Adrian is shocked

THIS IS HORRIFYING.

YOU ARE AMAZING.

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2009 12:55 am (UTC)

THIS IS AMAZING.

I AM HORRIFIED.

Posted by: Dan Orkwis (dorkwis)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2009 02:54 am (UTC)

I think I just woke up half my dorm laughing. That's truly hilarious.

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2009 12:55 am (UTC)

Thank you!

Posted by: Elleria (elleria)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2009 05:39 am (UTC)

This is so wrong on so many levels, but I love it any way.

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2009 12:55 am (UTC)

God help us both, eh?

Posted by: mymatedave (mymatedave)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2009 08:41 am (UTC)

I am horrified and delighted at the same time. Bravo and thank you.

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2009 01:00 am (UTC)

You are welcome. Please pray for my soul.

Posted by: Petra (petronelle)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2009 10:26 am (UTC)

That's terrifying. You win.

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2009 01:02 am (UTC)

I kinda feel like I lost. A SMALL PIECE OF MY INNOCENCE.

Posted by: mendori (mendori)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2009 07:07 pm (UTC)

-facepalm-

How much booze do I have to get in you to sing this at DragonCon?

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2009 01:03 am (UTC)

...I love the fact that those two reactions followed immediately upon each other.

And there is not enough Cthulade in the world.

Posted by: 3fgburner (3fgburner)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2009 01:34 am (UTC)

As Hradzka said above, probably half his flist knows the tune... This is, I think, the Loudoun Wainwright III version. I did not know, before today, that both Anthrax and the Sex Pistols recorded versions. The two tunes that I know don't quite match with any of the three.

[ETA] The complete and utter shredding of any last bit of innocence in my black little heart, begun so long ago at a Boy Scout camp in my teens, is complete. At that camp, I learned my first few verses to "The Ball at Kerrymuir". Tonight I found the Jim Croce rendition on YouTube.



Edited at 2009-04-03 01:48 am (UTC)

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