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David Hines [userpic]

APED: "beam me up"

September 22nd, 2009 (09:29 pm)

Dear human, so we hear you're looking for us
And wonder if we really are around.
So that's why we are dropping in
on your bedroom, once again
so if you could, just tell them -- would you put that shotgun down?

Now look. You just made me use my disruptor.
Sorry 'bout your fingers. Anyway --
would you stop that screaming, please?
oh well, at least you're on your knees,
lots quicker than the first time -- bet you won't forget that day.

Oh, dammit, now, where was I? All that screaming's so distracting.
I promise we won't probe you anymore.
The first fifteen or sixteen times was necessary, yes, but I'm
moving on now in my research, with that grant I scored --

Listen, if you shut up, then I'll tell you --
we don't care about your race at all.
You lot think you're all alone,
but you morons just don't know --
you guys are really boring. It's pathetic. We're appalled.

You aren't telepathic, and you're all made out of meat,
and you drink and cry and bleed plain H2O.
That A-bomb thing you think is sweet?
...in the quaintest way, it's sorta neat,
but when it comes to things unique, you guys are running low.

So when you quit your howling, should you ever,
tell your leaders we won't take you jerks aloft:
first contact is your chance to swing,
but for us, it's just the same old thing,
so take you to your leader, and then say we said, "Piss off."

Comments

Posted by: Not your everyday Viking angel (shadowvalkyrie)
Posted at: September 23rd, 2009 12:26 pm (UTC)
Heh!

*loves*

Especially:
So that's why we are dropping in
on your bedroom, once again
so if you could, just tell them -- would you put that shotgun down?

Now look. You just made me use my disruptor.
Sorry 'bout your fingers. Anyway --
would you stop that screaming, please?


And the general tone of exasperated boredom, dismissiveness, and all that casual cruelty. Scary and awesome.

1 Read Comments