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David Hines [userpic]

the single weirdest story you will read today

October 5th, 2009 (10:22 am)
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Dig this: there is a little town called Hardin, Montana. Hardin has a prison that has never been used, despite costing $27 million of your money, because Hardin, Montana. (The town doesn't even have a police force; they get the county sheriffs to do their law enforcing, and it sounds like the kind of place that's small enough that the cops and offenders are all on a first-name basis, so the Man knows who needs to get sent up the river and who just needs a gentle Friday night ass-kicking.) Because they don't use the prison (see: Hardin, Montana), they decide to make a business arrangement with a security company. Cool, right?

Er, a security company that refuses to reveal who owns it, whose representatives arrived in three Mercedes SUVs marked with Hardin Police decals (remember, Hardin *has* no Police), whose logo that turns to be the Serbian coat of arms, that claims to have worked with the US Government which in turn claims to have never heard of them, whose head turns out to be a convicted felon.

Also, their web site says emphatically that "We are NOT a Mercenary Army," but helpfully adds, "We are capable of assembling a up to one special forces battallion [sic] within 72 hours."

Their proofreading ain't so hot.

The best news roundup I've seen on this is via a hard-ish right blog Ironic Surrealism. The Freepers did some pretty good digging on this one, give 'em credit, and the details they've found to supplement press coverage just gets weirder and weirder. For example, if you check out the company's address on Google Street View, apparently the signs are digitally blurred. Not many people with the clout to make that happen. My guess is that the company is a scam trying to get federal contracts; wonder who the dude's powerful friends are, or if he's just dropping tons o' cash from stolen sources. An alternative possibility: they list themselves as international weapons suppliers. For someone with no scruples, that's a potentially lucrative market, but the guy who owns that company can't legally own a gun...

...oh, HOLY SHIT. I just remembered something. but NO WAY. He CAN'T BE CRAZY ENOUGH to be betting on this. Even if it went and held, it'd only apply to stuff made and kept in Montana. No freakin' way.

Man, I hope the diners in Hardin, Montana are packed with friendly, smiling, pie-eatin' FBI agents right about now.

ETA: [info - personal] cheyinka points out on DW that the spokeswoman for this mess is now quitting and is in fear of her life. The article from the Billings Gazette cheyinka links explains why: absolute nut-job Alex Jones is whipping his crowd up on this. Good gravy. Now the only thing we need is an actual amateur superhero deciding to get into the act.

Comments

Posted by: Jayman (smjayman)
Posted at: October 5th, 2009 03:03 pm (UTC)

It has to be money, bro. Money greases the skids and fixes stuff. I'm guessing said company has paid out monies for licenses, contracts, and a bunch of other stuff. I have no idea what their goal is, but I'd love to know. And yeah, if they aren't careful, the feds will rain on their parade pretty hard.

Posted by: shannon j.l. (shanejayell)
Posted at: October 5th, 2009 03:03 pm (UTC)

LOL

Just... wow. Glad I live in canada.

Posted by: SithRose (sithrose)
Posted at: October 5th, 2009 03:20 pm (UTC)

Montana is awfully close to Canada, you know...

Posted by: __marcelo (__marcelo)
Posted at: October 5th, 2009 03:36 pm (UTC)

Now I'm officially curious.

My first (and awfully uninformed) thought was that if Gitmo gets closed, the discrete incarceration business might get a small boost of government money. They might be angling for that.

Posted by: Not your everyday Viking angel (shadowvalkyrie)
Posted at: October 5th, 2009 03:58 pm (UTC)
excused from saving universes

Shit, this would be funny if it wasn't so deeply disturbing. O_o

Posted by: Randall Randall (randallsquared)
Posted at: October 5th, 2009 10:44 pm (UTC)

That bill you link to, HB0246, doesn't seem to be very useful for a mercenary company, anyway, given the list of exceptions.

Posted by: Rusty (rusty76)
Posted at: October 6th, 2009 02:16 am (UTC)

See, now this is the kind of wacky gun news I rely on you for. :)

Sounds like it ought to be an episode of Fringe or something.

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