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David Hines [userpic]

Donny Osmond RPF. By pros.

November 12th, 2009 (01:17 pm)
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Mike Sterling has an interesting post that touches on on for-pay RPF from the 1970s. He points out that teen magazines included fictional stories about celebrities, mysteries and adventures and romances and -- yes, *exactly,* it was totally RPF. I *have* to poach Sterling's selected quote, a bit from a serialized story in which the protagonist, Cindi goes on adventures with, um, Donny Osmond.

In spite of the total darkness, Donny seemed to know in which direction to swim. Cindi held onto Donny from behind, with one hand under his arm and the other across his bare shoulders. As he propelled them forward through the murky depths, Cindi could feel the movement of Donny's muscles working under his skin, and his soft, thick hair brushing her face. With her left leg alongside his right, Cindi was able to pick up and imitate the rhythm of Donny's kicking, so that the two of them, intertwined and struggling forward, became as one.


...yeah.

It's as amazing to me as it is to you -- maybe more so, because I vividly remember the flamewars when RPF came into being, and to be honest the stuff still squicks me today -- but apparently there was a time when RPF was not only not minded, but was more or less *commissioned,* for *pay,* and *sold for profit,* by celebrity magazines. I honestly wonder if such a thing might not come round again. Admittedly, Mary Sue are probably an easier sell than slash, and this was in the day where you just had "becoming as one while swimming in total darkness" as masturbatory fodder in lieu of actual porn, so some aspects would be a tough sell. But if I were a romance or mystery publisher, particularly one with a corporate relationship with some music arm, I would seriously think about producing a line of cheap stories with celebrity tie-ins. Because you can plonk a big pile of seventies teen mags down and say, "We used to do it!" (Hey, publishers, wanna print money? Commission somebody to write a book about a murder mystery at Fueled by Ramen, with Patrick Stump solving the crime. You want a TWILIGHT knock-off? Produce books about things that TWILIGHT's audience already likes. Or -- dig this: a murder/romance set DURING THE FILMING OF THE TWILIGHT MOVIES, with the stars solving crimes and acting. You want more TWILIGHT books to sell? You got it.)

I think that I had this idea means that I'm going to hell.

Comments

Posted by: Karen (odditycollector)
Posted at: November 12th, 2009 07:05 pm (UTC)

I *know* I saw something about an RPF erotica short story collection once.

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: November 12th, 2009 07:11 pm (UTC)

Fanlore informs me that there's a small fannish publishing house that does small-press rock & roll band RPF.

Posted by: Karen (odditycollector)
Posted at: November 12th, 2009 07:50 pm (UTC)
Crack Generator

Pretty positive it had nothing to do with fandom; all Mary Sue stuff about celebrities. (I've tried googling, but except for someone mentioning how they really liked a book with a similar description it is becoming apparent I am out of my depth, here.)

Posted by: Myranda Sarro (nagaina_ryuuoh)
Posted at: November 12th, 2009 09:22 pm (UTC)

It shames me to admit this but...I have actually seen, held in my hands, and, gods help me, read an actual published RPF novel. It was, apropos of this post, a Donnie and Marie Osmond novel, in which they and, iirc, a large monkey of some type were the main characters. It was entitled Going Coconuts.

Posted by: doctor_alice (doctor_alice)
Posted at: November 12th, 2009 11:54 pm (UTC)

I don't know why I remember this, but I do: "Going Coconuts" was a movie. It was a starring vehicle for Donny and Marie and has a reputation for being a real dog of a film. Your book must have been a novelization of the film.

(Deleted comment)
Posted by: sharaith (sharaith)
Posted at: November 13th, 2009 02:11 am (UTC)

I had no idea that current-day RPF was around, even published (!) before internet fandom.

Most of it squicks me too, I have to say, but from a future-of-media perspective I'd really like to see it.

a murder/romance set DURING THE FILMING OF THE TWILIGHT MOVIES, with the stars solving crimes and acting. <--- I know people who would pay money for this. I say you go for it. ^^

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