DOG. *attacks leash*
HINES. "Stop that, hon. Besides, it's damn sturdy -- has a hell of a guarantee on it..."
DOG. "Must... break... free!"
HINES. "Look, I'll free you in a second. I just have to go in to check something."
DOG. "No, Boss! Don't go inside without me!"
DOG. *trots up to front door, stub of leash dangling from collar*
HINES. *eyes dog*
HINES. *eyes porch railing*
HINES. "You bit through it. ...in five seconds. Through the leash."
DOG. "The leash? ...OMG I FORGOT!"
DOG. *races back to starting point and attacks leash again*
DOG. "HAVE AT YOU!"
HINES. "You do know you're already free, right?"
DOG. *unties knot and pulls remains of leash free from railing*
DOG. "See? I'm free now."
DOG. *lies down in bushes in triumph*
HINES. "I should really yell 'no' and scold you, hon, but that was actually pretty brilliant. If you ignore the whole part where you didn't realize you were free."
DOG. "Hey, Boss? Does this mean I get a new leash?"