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David Hines [userpic]

in which my dog is stupid, and a genius, simultaneously

January 28th, 2008 (03:31 pm)
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So my cabin has some plumbing issues, and I'm outside consulting with the landlady. The dog is recuperating from her spay, and so is not allowed to be running around. So she's on the leash. I tie her to the porch railing and go over to talk to the landlady.

DOG. *attacks leash*
HINES. "Stop that, hon. Besides, it's damn sturdy -- has a hell of a guarantee on it..."
DOG. "Must... break... free!"
HINES. "Look, I'll free you in a second. I just have to go in to check something."
DOG. "No, Boss! Don't go inside without me!"
DOG. *trots up to front door, stub of leash dangling from collar*

HINES. *eyes dog*
HINES. *eyes porch railing*
HINES. "You bit through it. ...in five seconds. Through the leash."
DOG. "The leash? ...OMG I FORGOT!"
DOG. *races back to starting point and attacks leash again*
HINES. "Bwuh?"
DOG. "HAVE AT YOU!"
HINES. "You do know you're already free, right?"

DOG. *unties knot and pulls remains of leash free from railing*
DOG. "See? I'm free now."
DOG. *lies down in bushes in triumph*
HINES. "I should really yell 'no' and scold you, hon, but that was actually pretty brilliant. If you ignore the whole part where you didn't realize you were free."
DOG. "Hey, Boss? Does this mean I get a new leash?"

Comments

Posted by: riah_chan (riah_chan)
Posted at: January 28th, 2008 08:58 pm (UTC)

Um... I sort of love your dog. It's like getting all the fun parts of having a dog without all the clean-up.

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Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: January 29th, 2008 12:54 am (UTC)

I did not expect my dog to make my life so colorful, but she has a way about her!

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Posted by: cmar_wingnut (cmar_wingnut)
Posted at: January 28th, 2008 11:20 pm (UTC)

I didn't know having a dog could be so entertaining. Although you may have a high leash budget.

*Feels renewed desire for a collie just like Lassie*

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Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: January 29th, 2008 01:00 am (UTC)
 pointy teeth

The awesome thing: her leash comes with a lifetime guarantee. So I just go to the store and say, "Look! She ate it!" and they give me another.

I think the company is going to regret this guarantee. I have had her for a little more than a month, and am already on leash #2 if you don't count the clothesline.

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Posted by: mendori (mendori)
Posted at: January 28th, 2008 11:55 pm (UTC)

Omg, I'm laughing so hard my chest hurts.
One of ours is currently in a gimp collar because she keeps chewing the bandage off her knee (Fixed a congenital defect where her femur didn't have the groove to keep the knee cap in place). Shes very funny to watch try to chew on her leg through it. Not a bright dog.

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Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: January 29th, 2008 01:06 am (UTC)

Hee hee!

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(Deleted comment)
Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: January 30th, 2008 02:54 am (UTC)

If she were a crimefighter, she would totally launch herself on her enemies with a battle cry of "Daaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk VENGEANCE!"

I don't know if I was able to convey how clever she actually was. To secure her to the railing, I unhooked her leash, ran the clip end around the railing and through the hand loop, then clipped it to her collar again. The leash was actually looped around the railing, and there was no way to unloop it without detaching her from her end. So she realized she needed to unloop the leash, and that she couldn't do that while she was on the leash, so she bit through the leash and then unlooped it, but failed to realize that her step 1 had made step 2 unnecessary.

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Posted by: ((Anonymous))
Posted at: January 29th, 2008 05:13 pm (UTC)

The deftness with which animals train their pet humans never ceases to amaze me.


STEVE O.

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Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: January 30th, 2008 02:57 am (UTC)
 roll out

The good news is, the leash had a lifetime guarantee and the replacement was thus free.

Of course, while I was shopping I bought her several chewy things.

...you may have a point, Steve.

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Posted by: PROBE UNIVERSE (liviapenn)
Posted at: January 29th, 2008 07:47 pm (UTC)
 atlantis: rodney smirky smirk


Pics or it didn't happen!!!

That was awesome. :D

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Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: January 30th, 2008 02:58 am (UTC)
 donuts?

It is to my eternal regret that I did not have a camera or even my crappy phone on me when she ran back to attack her detached leash. Then again, the pictures would probably have sucked because I was frigging *dying* of laughter.

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