David Hines (hradzka) wrote,
David Hines
hradzka

books to make my flist's heads explode: John Ringo

Lately, some folks on my f-list have been looking at Lord King Bad profic. brown_betty gave us LEOPARD LORD, and cereta reviewed THE SHEIK, and burger_eater pointed me to Smart Bitches, Trashy Books's take on Shayla Black's DECADENT. These books, it should be admitted, are deeply awful, and as portrayals of their authors' ids, they're more than a little alarming. You don't want to look, but you can't look away. The awfulness becomes sublime.

So why am I commenting about this? Well, because I feel a little like Richard Dreyfuss in JAWS, during the scar scene: "I got that beat. I got that beat."

Permit me to introduce John Ringo.

Contains excerpts of fiction revolving heavily around 1) rape and 2) whores. If you're bothered by this kind of thing, YOU REALLY DO NOT WANT TO READ ABOUT THIS. Even though it's so bad it's funny.Collapse )
Tags: books, oh john ringo no
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Found my way here through a friend... and OH MY GOD.

This is right up there with the multi-partEternity of Blood reviews I've read for brain-numbing horror.

Actually, this might be worse than the Eternity of Blood stuff.

My brain may never recover, and I've been sending friends over to share the train wreck. Thank you!
I found my way here through a link on a website, as an explanation of someone using the phrase "OH JOHN RINGO NO".

I feel like bashing my head against a wall, then ripping my eyes out, throwing them on the floor, stamping on them until they are crushed to pulp, then lighting the whole thing on fire, using either a blowtorch or a nuclear explosion - I can't decide.

Thank you for making my day!
If you care, the five Paladin books are available for free download (yes, legally) here (16-ClawsThatCatchCD) .
I think...I think part of my brain just exploded.

And unfortunately, I want to read these books because I love to freak myself out D:

OH JOHN RINGO NO!

That t-shirt idea? Brilliant. I may buy one when I gain the funds to do so.
(This may be the fourth time I've re-read this -- and I'm linking people to it as regularly as I can.)

...I'm faintly ashamed to say that I not only enjoyed Ghost thoroughly, though I read the second book first...I didn't say OH JOHN RINGO NO even once. ...In my defense, I've read worse. Much worse.

...I still like John Ringo. Very much. And I anticipate the next book...eagerly, though not as much as I'm waiting for the other series' continuations.

Edit: I'm going to friend you, I think. I'm so...well, enchanted by your writing, is possibly the only way to say it.
"Yeah," Mike said as he holstered his piece and picked up his jump bag. "But then you'd be acting. It wouldn't be the same."

I think Frank Miller wishes he was this guy?

"Get a whore." IT'S HIS ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING.

Okay, yes, I'm sure of it now.

This was very entertaining, thank you! I know I am kind of late, but I found this by way of fark, though several of my friends have the shirts. :D
I went to the Ringo page looking for the chronology of the Paladin stuff & found your review. I accidentally read Unto the Breach first, but I'm not ashamed to say that I would have kept reading even if I had read Ghost first. I howled out loud with both books & review. I am cutting & pasting to send your review to my spousal unit who is currently underway, because it is too d@#* funny not to share & he would hate to miss it while unable to access the internet. As a femme, I admit to being the one who bought the Heinleins, the Normans, the Hamiltons, the Chalkers, the Ringos & other sinfully, delightful books in our family--not all of us ladies shop for our books off of Oprah's book lists! Because they are over the top & I truly pity the people who can't enjoy the exaggerated, yet truly, glorious nonsense of it all--even while yelling in protest. For me, it was "you did not just go there". But now I am going to hear "oh john ringo no" instead. I'm going to have to read more of your stuff--I was in absolute agreement with too much of your review--& rarely do reviews entertain so well. Excellent read. Thank you.

hamadryad

Thank you.

Anonymous

April 5 2009, 02:04:58 UTC 11 years ago

I know this post is old, but I just found a link to it on TV Tropes (from the Author Appeal entry) and had to say -

Thanks.

I really enjoyed the first Council War book. And the second one. After that it seemed mostly about Herzer Herrick's penis, and since I'm not remotely interested in ditto, that was it for me.

Yes, I think it is great to see a hero resist his baser impulses. And yes, Mr. Ringo has an awesome attitude about this. But no, I do not want to hear characters rant on about how great it is to be a female submissive, and in fact how ALL women are either neutral or subs. (Actually, no. We're not.)

GHOST reached a level of so much revolting male-dominance wish fulfillment that my Dad actually refused to finish it, and he has been a Ringo fan from the word "go."

I'm not remotely bothered by the unrealism of Manly Man Military books (I've enjoyed Drake, Weber and sometimes Flint, the other three of what I would consider Baen's Big Four). It's the sexual subjugation content that nauseates and distresses me. I can't fathom how the same author could come up with awesome strong females like Joanna and Bast and then write something like GHOST as well.

But then, human personality is complex.

More complex than Ringo's sex scenes would have it, certainly.
hradzka:
"The PALADIN OF SHADOWS series is arguably the most horrifying series of books I have ever read."
So, have you read any of Sharon Green's books?
So my friend just linked me to this post in IM. I am of the belief that this is some sort of revenge for all the horrible, terrible, mind-numbing things I have linked her to.

God damn it ow, I need a Tylenol after all that.
I mean dear God, this is beyond My Immortal bad. My Immortal is at least ironically funny if read while inebriated.
Whoreverine!!!!!!!!!!! LOL. Please let us readers know if a Katya spin-off ever happens, because I'd rather read that.
I must say, reading this review out loud to my husband was hilarious. I'm glad Mr. Ringo himself seems nonplussed about it, and I hope your shirt/charity donations went (are going?)well.

OH JOHN RINGO NO
Here from TvTropes.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I get what you mean when you say these books are interesting in a truly bizarre way. Oh, god, that was some amazing entertainment.
I have to confess I found the books pretty hilarious. I just could NOT take them at all seriously.

LOVE your review, tho. :)
Sorry this is late to the party - just wanted to add my thanks for the post. I'd read the first 3-4 titles in the Posleen/Legacy series a while back and then moved on from Ringo without looking into other works. Just bought a shirt, now I need to go to Baen and buy the books.

I agree that Ghost is, to quote Mike Harmon, complicated. It's as if Don Pendleton and John D. MacDonald had agreed to write novellas with the same character after meeting up in the old USENET alt.sex.stories threads 20 years ago, or something. But Ringo has spun a better yarn than even that.
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  • dear author letter 2014

    Dear Yuletide Author, Here's the part I type every year: I'm pretty much a genfic guy. Light romance is okay, especially if it's funny, but for the…

  • dear Yuletide author

    Dear Yuletide Author, Here's the part I type every year: I'm pretty much a genfic guy. Light romance is okay, especially if it's funny, but for the…

  • Newtown: a tactical assessment

    I'm going to talk about the Newtown, Connecticut murders at Sandy Hook Elementary School in two posts. This is the first one. In this one, I'll talk…