On Sunday, Ash and Denise and Amy and I went to the range. Most of the ranges were closed for Easter, but we found one that wasn't, and had a merry time. My new AR-15 went out on its maiden cruise, and it was a ton of fun to shoot. The red dot sight needs adjusting, which I didn't have the tools for at the range, but it was a very fun toy. As if I didn't have enough gun- and book-related addictions, I've discovered the allure of Scary Black Rifles, God help me. There was also shotgun fun, and pistol shooting at steel targets, which are great fun because they go *plong!* when you hit 'em. Different ones made different tones, and I spent a magazine or two trying to figure out what order to shoot them in to make them play the CLOSE ENCOUNTERS tones: *pling* *pling* *PLING* *plong* *plunk.* It didn't work out, because my pitch is really bad and I didn't have nearly enough ammo for my Glock 30.
An amusing incident occurred at the end of the evening: Ash and I set up on his dining room table to clean guns. After a while, Ash noticed something amiss on his Thunder Five.
ASH. "Hey, look at this. Is this screw supposed to stick out like that?"
HINES. *looks* "I wouldn't think so. Look, there are threads in the hole on the other side."
ASH. "Hey, right. It's not in all the way."
ASH. *gets screwdriver*
ASH. *turns screw*
ASH. "Hey, this isn't engaging."
HINES. "Lemme see." *turns screw a lot, to no effect* "Huh. Lemme see. What if I --"
SCREW. *falls out*
HINES. "Ohhh! It's not a screw. It's a pin. Threads are on the other end. I'll push it all the way in --"
PIN. *gets stuck*
HINES. "Hm. Maybe if I pull back the hammer..."
PIN. *goes through*
HAMMER. *is now stuck*
TRIGGER. *does nothing*
HINES. *removes pin*
HAMMER. *still stuck*
TRIGGER. *still nothing*
HINES. "Well, this means war."
GRIP. *comes off*
ASH. "...this is getting complicated."
HINES. "Look, worst comes to worst, I'll pay the bill if you have to go down to the shop with a bagful of gun."
ASH. "If? *You've never done this before.*"
HINES. "AHA. Look, if I move this, I can reset the hammer."
HAMMER SPRING STRUT. *slides free*
HAMMER SPRING. *enthusiastically uncompresses*
LITTLE TINY METAL STOP AT END OF HAMMER SPRING. *whizzes through the air and vanishes*
LITTLE TINY METAL STOP. "Free! I'm *freeeeeeee!*"
ASH. *holds flashlight*
HINES. *finds little tiny metal stop*
ASH. "Now what?"
HINES. "We just have to put this back in place."
ASH. "That's all? How hard can that be?"
HAMMER SPRING. *chuckles evilly*
ASH. *unbends paperclip*
HAMMER SPRING STRUT. *pushes*
TINY LITTLE STOP. *holds hammer spring back*
HAMMER SPRING. *compresses*
ASH. *slides paper clip through hole in hammer spring strut*
PAPER CLIP. *blocks spring from decompressing*
HINES. *puts assembly back into gun*
HAMMER SPRING. *smugly* "Oh, you think you're so smart, do you?"
HINES. "Okay! Now we just pull the paper clip, and -- "
HAMMER SPRING. "Heh."
PAPER CLIP. *is stuck*
HINES AND ASH. "Fuck."
HINES. *carefully disassembles assembly*
ASH. *oils new paper clip*
HINES AND ASH. *put assembly back together*
HINES. *resets hammer*
HINES. *replaces assembly in gun and holds it in place*
ASH. *removes paper clip*
HINES. *reassembles grip*
HINES. *punches pin back into position*
HINES. *screws pin back in place*
HINES AND ASH. *shake hands*
HINES. "Not bad for our first time gunsmithing!"
ASH. *inspects gun* "Huh. You know, I think the trigger feels better now."
HINES. "NO NEED TO THANK ME, CITIZEN. AWAY!"