September 1st, 2006

cass groovy

5 things: Zathras

For mendori
Five things Zathras thought, but didn’t say.

1. “Zathras tell Draal, over and over, read the stinking manual, but Draal not listen to Zathras, no. Why Zathras always have this problem with users?”

2. “Ohhh. This button. Zathras should not push this button. Button is eraser of history. But… is shining, candy-like button…”

3. “Zathras sorry for almost shooting down Commander Ivanova’s shuttle, first time she came to Epsilon III. Um, perhaps Zathras can make up for stupidity with dinner and flowers? … No. No, Zathras want to live.”

4. “Sometimes Zathras feel… not so fresh.”

5. “You are finite. Zathras is finite. This – holy crap! Zathras accidentally pulled out Zathras’s Swedish genital enlargement pump! …Calm. Zathras must be calm. Commander Ivanova has not yet noticed. Zathras… does not know what this is? This is not Zathras’s bag? No! Commander Ivanova the beauteous and wise will see through lie. Um… aha! – this is wrong tool.”