January 16th, 2009

jason

APED: "trophy case"

He mends the shattered skull with glue,
white PVA, and Duco too,
and tarries in that task a while
to reconstruct the splintered smile
the crowbar smashed. The wire serves
to mount the bones. It thrills his nerves
to see how well and truly fits
the costume scrounged from rags and bits.
The project done, he turns to place
in his great bell-jar trophy case
his foe's defeated, fallen son
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cass groovy

A Poem Every Day -- Week 1 in review

"A Poem Every Day" is underway. I have now posted eight poems.

...it feels like more. OH GOD this will be a slog. Anyway, it's Friday, and we've had a bit over a week of this, so this seems like a good time to find out what folks like or don't like. This week, I wrote:

"A Poem Every Day" (introduction)
"Deep in the Darkness"
"Not Quite a Ballade for Joseph Merrick"
"Empty and Aching and Always Alone"
"Way Over Yonder"
"Big Mac Villanelle"
"I am a Sensitive Nice Guy Writing in Free Verse"
"Trophy Case"


Poll #1332381 A Poem Every Day -- Week 1
This poll is closed.

Which poem was your favorite?

A Poem Every Day
0(0.0%)
Deep in the Darkness
1(3.6%)
Not Quite a Ballade for Joseph Merrick
3(10.7%)
Empty and Aching and Always Alone
1(3.6%)
Way Over Yonder
2(7.1%)
Big Mac Villanelle
3(10.7%)
I Am a Sensitive Nice Guy Writing Free Verse
7(25.0%)
Trophy Case
7(25.0%)
All of 'em!
1(3.6%)
None of 'em!
0(0.0%)
Ticky!
3(10.7%)


Curious to see how this breaks down, and whether we agree on these things.

UPDATE: And the poll's closed. Looks like a tie between "Sensitive Nice Guy" and "Trophy Case," which actually surprises me. I'd figured people would vote for SNG heavily, because it got the most comments, and based on the response to "Way Over Yonder" I'd pegged that for second place. I don't think "Trophy Case" is as good as some of the others, though it does work pretty well -- maybe the fannish content drew folks to vote for it who don't care much for the poems in general, but hey! It's fanfic and poetry combined; that's kinda neat.

For the record, my favorite poem this week is "Not Quite a Ballade For Joseph Merrick." I'm rather fiercely proud of that one, to the point that if this whole thing bogs down I will point to that and say, "It was worth it." I think the structure on it worked out very well: the reader won't know quite what it's about at first, but the first refrain makes for an "ah, that's it!" moment that carries through the next stanza. The second stanza gives details on the kind of thing that people vaguely remember about the Elephant Man, anyway, but the third makes for a change-up when it talks about Treves. He was a pretty prominent figure: wrote a major textbook, performed emergency surgery on royalty. And nobody knows that. I sure didn't. So now the reader's wondering again, "Where is this going?" And the concluding lines answer that by making Treves's non-Elephant-Man-related obscurity a point of identification, and an object of thought for the reader by making the reader imagining being remembered in a similar way. It worked out better than I'd imagined. I think I'll do some more historical ballades. There's some good material to be mined there.