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David Hines [userpic]

APED: "i am a sensitive nice guy writing in free verse"

January 15th, 2009 (06:17 am)

I am a sensitive Nice Guy
writing in free verse
because I can't bother to find a rhyme or meter
because I hurt
because I hurt
so very much
ow
this poem will impress you with the sincerity of my pain
it will make you respect me
it will make you believe me
it will bring my ex-girlfriend back
it will cure all my sniffles and other ills
because words have the power to change the world
everybody says that so it must be true
and by everybody I mean writers
but that doesn't mean it's wrong
I mean, First Amendment, right?
not that I ever read the Constitution
or give much thought to what it means
because I have so much feeling to do
you would understand
if you were me
if you could feel like this
because nobody but me has ever suffered in the whole history of the world
it's not like you're real like me
not in any way that matters
only my feelings are important

because poetry isn't about ideas or other people or the universal human experience
it's about making yourself feel better and more important
and making other people see how much you hurt
and getting chicks
hot chicks
art chicks
with boobs
so really I don't care what you think about my poem
unless you are a chick
with boobs
but still
I will secretly refresh this page endlessly looking for comments
in the hope that just one more person liked it

so there

Comments

Posted by: violent_rabbit (violent_rabbit)
Posted at: January 15th, 2009 11:54 am (UTC)

*applauds*

I love the appropriate icon of Manly Suffering.

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: January 16th, 2009 02:42 pm (UTC)
tony stark

*bows*

I need to get more icons, but this was the closest thing I had.

Posted by: Mara (marag)
Posted at: January 15th, 2009 12:29 pm (UTC)
Geek boys

That. Is an awesome poem.

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: January 16th, 2009 02:44 pm (UTC)

It. Might have been inspired by certain internet poetry forums.

NO NAMES.

Posted by: silk_noir (silk_noir)
Posted at: January 15th, 2009 01:36 pm (UTC)

Sorry, I can't pay attention to your sensitivity when you throw in that icon choice.

--Signed, Hot Chick w/Boobs

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: January 16th, 2009 02:45 pm (UTC)

HOT DOG. POETRY WORKS.

Posted by: Sienamystic (sienamystic)
Posted at: January 15th, 2009 02:15 pm (UTC)
Yuma

As a be-boobed chick, I approve of this poem.

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: January 16th, 2009 02:52 pm (UTC)

As a sensitive Nice Guy^TM, my narrative character approves of be-boobed chicks. SO THAT WORKS.

(Though he'll never actually summon up the guts to make a pass at you, so he'll just hang around you all night and try to look down your shirt.)

Posted by: Not your everyday Viking angel (shadowvalkyrie)
Posted at: January 15th, 2009 03:33 pm (UTC)
excused from saving universes

You may well have written the first entirely honest poem about poetry in the history of literature. O_o

You have to care about my opinion, see: *bounces boobs in your general direction*

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: January 16th, 2009 02:56 pm (UTC)
catwoman and holly

You may well have written the first entirely honest poem about poetry in the history of literature. O_o

It may have been a rather visceral response to the contents of certain poetry forums where I was considering posting my work. I swear, it's all people in the throes of eternal adolescence who wouldn't recognize a dactyl if it hit them over the head with a bucket.

I thought about posting this one there, but realized doing so would probably constitute trolling.

Posted by: Also into cats (jamethiel_bane)
Posted at: January 15th, 2009 10:39 pm (UTC)
CheerSky

*snicker*

HA!

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: January 16th, 2009 02:57 pm (UTC)

I have no idea what you are talking about. This is a Serious and Deeply Meaningful Piece of Art. WHY MUST THE WORLD MOCK MY PAIN.

Posted by: Drooling Fan Girl (droolfangrrl)
Posted at: January 16th, 2009 03:53 am (UTC)
cranky

This is a completely awesome poem. Please to see the photo of me as it proves that I am a chick and that I have boobies.

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: January 16th, 2009 02:58 pm (UTC)
donuts?

Please to see the photo of me as it proves that I am a chick and that I have boobies.

And a middle finger, too! TWO ITEMS ON A SENSITIVE NICE GUY'S PRE-FLIGHT CHECKLIST. Er, three items, I suppose.

(And thanks!)

Posted by: Katie (dolique)
Posted at: January 16th, 2009 04:19 am (UTC)
merlin: helplessly amused

ahahahaha nice. :D

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: January 16th, 2009 03:00 pm (UTC)

Thank you! Yes, I feel it adequately catalogs my deep inner pain, which is really quite impressive and must be admired and praised in public.

...no, really!

Posted by: Elleria (elleria)
Posted at: January 16th, 2009 06:19 am (UTC)

I read some of the other comments and they stole what I was going to say! No fair! How can I seem original if they said what I was going to say in a different and better way?

Anyway, I like this poem a lot.

Signed,
Another chick with boobs.

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: January 16th, 2009 03:02 pm (UTC)
oh john ringo no

I NOW HAVE A SURFEIT OF BOOBS. WHICH I THOUGHT WAS IMPOSSIBLE.

My narrator's delight is boundless. Though he can't actually summon up the nerve to make a move on anybody, mind. He just *hopes* that if he is Sensitive Enough in public, adoring women will suddenly materialize.

Posted by: Maire (mkcs)
Posted at: January 16th, 2009 08:30 am (UTC)

*grins*

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: January 16th, 2009 03:06 pm (UTC)
spidey and mj

My art makes people happy! I COULD CRY. BECAUSE I'M SENSITIVE LIKE THAT.

Posted by: Cerlian (cerlian)
Posted at: January 18th, 2009 11:33 am (UTC)

(The corresponding Sensitive Nice Guy persona that one such as me developed a few months ago actually works. Much to my absolute delight. Adoring women have, in fact, appeared. Many of them. Unfortunately, they're all something like six to ten years older than I. This is a Bad Thing.)

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: January 20th, 2009 02:09 am (UTC)

Dude, no. This is a very good thing. Older chicks rock.

A lot of people don't think much of Sensitive Nice Guy personas these days -- too passive-aggressive. also, wussy. -- but hey, if chicks dig it...

(Of course, "chicks will dig it" is often a motivator for men to do very stupid things. "maybe chicks will dig it" is the corresponding motivator for very, very, *very* stupid things...)

Posted by: Cerlian (cerlian)
Posted at: January 20th, 2009 06:56 am (UTC)

...More than half of them are also completely uninterested that way in males (except for possible slash). Which might actually account for the sheer number of them, to be honest.

Wussy? Maybe. It's a long-term thing, which might also be why a lot of guys don't do it. Y'know, the sort of 'Why bother doing it if I'm not going to get laid really soon?'

I agree -- and then to correspond with that, 'Hey man, I guarantee chicks will dig that if you do it...and I'll pay you.' is a motivator for incredibly stupid things.

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