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David Hines [userpic]

APED: "thermos haiku"

January 30th, 2009 (08:30 am)

My Thermos is wise.
Hot stuff stays hot. Cold stuff, cold.
But how does it know?

Comments

Posted by: Coaster (coasterchild)
Posted at: January 30th, 2009 05:29 pm (UTC)
comicses: timmy is cute

De-lurking briefly to say that this is downright adorable. I giggled out loud when I read the last line.

Great job with these poems. Good, good stuff.

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: January 31st, 2009 12:51 pm (UTC)
snoop

To be fair, the idea is not original to me. When I was a kid, I ran across it as an ethnic joke. (Polish, to be precise. Literally, you could get books called "The Big Book of Polish Jokes" back then. ...or maybe it was "Ethnic Jokes" -- I honestly can't recall, but I think I got it from a used bookstore when I was maybe ten.) So if you strip the idea, make it self-deprecating rather than "Haw! My ethnicity is smarter than [INSERT ETHNICITY HERE]!", it's worth turning into a haiku.

Posted by: A large duck (burger_eater)
Posted at: January 30th, 2009 08:38 pm (UTC)

Hrmf! Isn't this more of a senryu?

/pedant

Like it, though. :)

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: January 31st, 2009 12:52 pm (UTC)

A very good point. And I thank you!

Posted by: riah_chan (riah_chan)
Posted at: January 31st, 2009 05:42 am (UTC)
Yoshi!

This is my favorite!

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: January 31st, 2009 02:27 pm (UTC)

I am pleased!

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