David Hines (hradzka) wrote,
David Hines

APED: "monster anti-defamation league free verse"

dear sir

the monster anti-defamation league
would like to register some complaints
regarding you
and your monster poems

in your poems
monsters are always eating people
and breaking into houses
to eat people
and lying in wait
to eat people
and skulking through the night
also to eat people

these stereotypes are outrageous
and also unfounded

to be quite frank
many of us are terrifying enough as it is
without having to eat people
(have you ever seen a behinder?
you don't want to)

monsters are under beds and in closets
across the country
but they are never responsible for small children going missing
well hardly ever
it would be one thing if there were a coherent ideology at work
but there is not
we just get hungry
many monsters now have productive careers in diverse fields
such as mall security and urban renewal
we hope soon to have the vote

we do not wish to be seen as overbearing
but if you do not take our criticism seriously
we cannot be responsible
for every monster

some of whom actually do eat people
and like poets
with garlic
Tags: a poem every day

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