They say our land's just good for cheese,
And secret bank deposits,
And suits you wear in pieces three.
But we keep guns in our closets!
And truth be told, we're warriors bold,
We're just polite about it.
In whispers our brave tales are told,
But now it's time to shout it.
(cho.) So warriors bold, bring down your steins
And gather round, you maidens fine.
We'll sing our tale about the time
the Swiss invaded Liechtenstein!
Our army company went on
A training exercise.
Self-improvement bent on,
Beneath the alpine skies.
But when we stopped a little time
to sort our marching order,
We found we were in Liechtenstein --
We'd marched across their border!
No army could defeat us!
They don't have one, the cowards.
So Liechtenstein lay meek beneath us,
For about an hour!
We turned right round with faces pale
And made it home for dinner,
There hasn't been a braver tale
Since the British took La Linea.
We called them the next morning,
Or else they wouldn't know.
Consider it a warning,
We said -- we'll let it go.
But we've tasted conquest and enjoyed!
So now we'll take a chance:
Load these veterans, my boys,
And let's be bound for France!