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David Hines [userpic]

oliver hardy hates me

May 26th, 2009 (04:09 am)

I just woke up from a dream in which I was standing up with my upper back leaning against a wall, while I was reading a newspaper and drinking a glass of lemonade. (For some reason, I remember very clearly that the glass was rounded, tall, and had a handle on it, exactly like the new glasses my mother got when I was in high school.) I folded the newspaper over, leaned back, and took a drink of lemonade -- whereupon I was punched moderately hard in the solar plexus. The kind of blow you'd get from somebody who hit as hard as they could, which wasn't all that hard.

Because it was a dream, I didn't bite down on the glass and break off a chunk in my mouth, causing hideous lacerations. I did bend over a little, whereupon I swallowed the lemonade and looked to see who had hit me.

It was Oliver Hardy.

Yes, of Laurel and Hardy.

Yes, that one.

He was giving me a glare of utter hate and barely-suppressed indignation, which was obviously sincere but was also really funny, because he was Oliver Hardy.

"Jesus, Ollie," I said, "what did I ever do to you?"

No response, just that glare of hate. Then he turned away and walked on. I went to throw the newspaper away, and took another mouthful of lemonade, then turned back to see that he had stopped halfway down the hall and was giving me that Oliver Hardy glare again. I'd interrupted him planning to sneak up on me and hit me again. Then he turned and walked away, for real.

The odd thing is that in the dream I knew exactly why he'd hit me, and I'd totally deserved it. It's fuzzier now, but essentially I had played some cruel practical joke on him that I had thought was funny but that had really hurt his feelings. I think it had something to do with a woman. Maybe I made him think a woman he fancied liked him back, when she really didn't.

Anyway, so in my dreams Oliver Hardy and I are eternal enemies.

Just thought you'd like to know.


Posted by: Furious Ming (thepeopleseason)
Posted at: May 26th, 2009 01:37 pm (UTC)

That's both really bizarre and totally awesome.

Posted by: Abigail Lynn (abigailynn)
Posted at: May 26th, 2009 03:18 pm (UTC)

Dreams like that always crack me up. How do our brains come up with this stuff? I'm not a particular U2 fan (I don't really have strong feelings one way or the other about them), but one night last month I dreamed that I met Bono at a work party and we instantly hit it off. Turns out, in my dreams Bono and I are soul-mates. I was understandably devastated when I woke and learned that he's both 20 years my senior and married.

Posted by: Persephone (persephone_kore)
Posted at: May 26th, 2009 03:36 pm (UTC)


*thinks* Celebrity appearances in my dreams are somewhat limited. I think one of them did involve Christopher Lee attending a wedding. I'm not sure exactly who was getting married, but one of them was a purple octopus with rubber boots.

Posted by: Abigail Lynn (abigailynn)
Posted at: May 26th, 2009 03:57 pm (UTC)

Hah. I don't know, I think a purple octopus with rubber boots trumps any celebrities. That's just impressive.

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