David Hines (hradzka) wrote,
David Hines

back from the gun show

I recently got a Twitter account (as hradzka, natch). My phone can't make Tweets, which is a shame because I went to a Virginia gun show today and discovered that I kept thinking of potential Tweets while walking around. It would be silly to dump them on Twitter all at once, so you get them here:

-- The gun show was in two buildings. The one I parked by was empty, disappointing. Then I went to the other: BEST GUN SHOW EVAR.

-- Man, that first building had a lot of Hitler busts.

-- You can always find Confederate and Nazi stuff at gun shows. Lots of gun nuts are disturbingly into guys who got their asses kicked.

-- Is this how the lefties on my flist feel at their rallies when they see the Communist Youth diggin' totalitarianism?

-- ...who'm I kidding? Half my flist is helping them *hand out brochures.*

-- Absolutely beautiful high-end miniatures by AeroArt, Inc. Made in Russia. The painting is unbelievable.

-- Also: Klan memorabilia!

-- Kidding. The Klan stuff was part of a race-relations history collection. Some very cool black history stuff in it, actually.

-- Neat photos of all-black military units. Hey, an emancipation letter.

-- Seriously, the first building was like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUkVYauZWHg

-- Some very cool US militaria.

-- OMG, some sick motherfucker chromed an M1 carbine. I want to find him and cause him pain.

-- Lots of family operations. Curiously, the ugliest gun dealers tend to have *really hot jailbait daughters.*

-- One dealer tells me that the place is in two buildings for the first time. Usually, it's all-in-one. This explains why one place is packed and the other dead.

-- Brain immediately pegged young guy in wheelchair (double leg amputee) behind me at ATM as Marine, rather than Army. Why Marine? I wondered.

-- Thought about it. The answer: his haircut and his stump socks (Marine camo). Not quite "you have been in Afghanistan, I perceive," but not bad.

-- Speaking of, sign of true fanboy: sorely tempted to buy a Jezail rifle just because Dr. John Watson was shot with one.

-- Think I was cruised. He was young, overly friendly, and looked like something out of a military-themed shoot by Colt Studio.

-- Cruising at a gun show. THAT's cojones.

-- One dealer had a small placard saying no sale to anybody speaking something other than English at his booth.

-- The ATM, meanwhile, was so multilingual that it offered to speak to me in Polish.

-- Another dealer had a similar placard banning cell phones.

-- Grave disappointment at discovering cell phone jammers for sale to law enforcement and military only. Visions of uninterrupted movies shattered.

-- My first gun show where NFA items (i.e., suppressors and machine guns) were for sale.

-- LOTS of gorgeous machine guns. Asked if they had trouble, after the shows, wiping off all the drool...

-- Sign most likely to make a non-gun-nut do a doubletake: "Investment Grade Machine Guns.

Without question, the most awesome item there: an old Schutzen rifle, *gloriously* engraved and carved, with amazing detail on the gun itself and on the stock. The right side of the gun featured an engraving of a woman aiming the rifle; the right side of the stock showed the same woman holding a cup of some sort. The guys who had it just got it, but they'll be putting pics up on their website. They thought the picture on the stock showed the woman holding a stein, but it didn't have a handle, so it would've been a goblet with a top. I think there's a good chance it was a shooting trophy, making it a woman's rifle. Be insanely cool if the woman depicted was the woman who'd originally commissioned the firearm...
Tags: guns, life
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