It's not my GI JOE, but it's a perfectly enjoyable Big Dumb Stupid Movie. The internationalization of the team wasn't handled badly, and while I've found Marlon Wayans really annoying in the past I found him surprisingly likeable as Rip-Cord. The only thing I found a little sad was that the obligatory love stories had Rip-Cord pairing up with Scarlett and the Baroness with Duke; like any good GI JOE fan raised on the Hamaverse, my bulletproof OTPs are Scarlett/Snake-Eyes and Destro/Baroness. So I kept seeing these little Snake-Eyes/Scarlett moments: aww, in the plane he totally put his hand on her shoulder! And they put their arms around each other while getting out of the underwater base!
Is this what it's like to be a slash fan?
Anyway, now I kind of want the fic where my OTPs are all retired and wind up running into each other during family holidays. Scarlett and Snakes' son meets Destro and the Baroness's daughter on a train and they get a flirtation going and then they find out about each others' parents, which is an intriguing surprise to the girl as her parents just never got around to mentioning that whole "international terrorism" period to her. And because their kids get along and they're all at the same resort or whatever the parents keep running into each other and have to make nice, and then fight crime.
Also, I want the parents making awkward conversation over tea while tiptoeing carefully around the fact that Scarlett uses a cane now and suffers from aphasia and chronic pain because, oh yeah, THE BARONESS SHOT HER IN THE HEAD.
(I figure that S&S's kid goes by "Terry O'Hara." He uses Scarlett's real last name because his father *refuses* to use his own real name any more, feels it's cursed, and he's not going to pass it on to a kid if he has anything to say about it. Inasmuch as Snakes says anything. Scarlett responded to this by naming the boy after Snake-Eyes's late twin sister. I AM SUCH A FANGIRL.)