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David Hines [userpic]

APED: "overlording"

August 22nd, 2009 (09:57 pm)

Don't you ever leave your foes in death-traps,
never think that shooting's far too good --
'cause if you don't see them die,
you'll think they're gone till they come by,
so if you've got a chance to shoot 'em, then you should.

Don't try to marry some dumb hero's girlfriend,
because he always makes it just in time.
And even if you get her,
the moment she's unfettered,
she'll get a knife and stick it in your eye.

Always cover over your exhaust ports.
Don't pin all your plans on one small ring.
Although sometimes you gotta,
but if you do you oughtta
keep mum until your hands are on the thing.

Don't tell the hero what it is you're up to,
'cause once you do, he'll only just escape.
So, kid, don't even try,
or better yet, just *lie,*
and laugh to see surprise upon his face.

You're new at this whole overlording business,
and so you'd better take a tip from me --
I've been killed a hundred times,
and failed at seven hundred crimes --
*don't imitate the villains on TV.*

Comments

Posted by: doctor_alice (doctor_alice)
Posted at: August 23rd, 2009 02:33 pm (UTC)

Excellent! I've always gotten a kick out of the "One Hundred Rules for Evil Overlords" list. This is charming and funny.

Posted by: 3fgburner (3fgburner)
Posted at: August 23rd, 2009 03:24 pm (UTC)

An excellent summation. My wife got somewhat irked at me while we were watching "Indiana Jones and the Empire of the Crystal Skull". During the firefight between the Ducks, I was quoting Rule 56, fairly loudly.

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