never think that shooting's far too good --
'cause if you don't see them die,
you'll think they're gone till they come by,
so if you've got a chance to shoot 'em, then you should.
Don't try to marry some dumb hero's girlfriend,
because he always makes it just in time.
And even if you get her,
the moment she's unfettered,
she'll get a knife and stick it in your eye.
Always cover over your exhaust ports.
Don't pin all your plans on one small ring.
Although sometimes you gotta,
but if you do you oughtta
keep mum until your hands are on the thing.
Don't tell the hero what it is you're up to,
'cause once you do, he'll only just escape.
So, kid, don't even try,
or better yet, just *lie,*
and laugh to see surprise upon his face.
You're new at this whole overlording business,
and so you'd better take a tip from me --
I've been killed a hundred times,
and failed at seven hundred crimes --
*don't imitate the villains on TV.*