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David Hines [userpic]

APED: "fantasy trilogy blues"

August 28th, 2009 (09:07 pm)

The wizard's subtle and he's quick to anger,
he's gotten in the dragonmead again.
And the fella with the magic ring
is bitchin' over everything,
he's saying he's gonna use that ring and cause the world to end.
And adventurers are meeting in the corner,
just like last night, and all the nights before,
and the old dark lord who got took down?
That's right, the asshole's come back 'round,
and we're gonna have another fuckin' war.

The dwarves and elves and halflings give us custom,
they know that they're always welcome for a beer.
Not too many, understand,
'cause dammit, this here town's for man,
they can go back where they came from if they don't like it here.
And a pretty girl just walked in wearing armor,
though I think she left most of it in the store,
her midriff and long legs are bare,
and now's the time, you wanna stare:
'cause she'll get 'em cut off in the fuckin' war.

A darkness is arising -- what's it to ya?
The light is calling -- look, gimme a break.
It's still the same old same old thing,
so buddy, just keep ordering,
and no, I can't fix you up with that chick that's in the lake.
It's the eighty-third war like this I remember.
The Light'll win, like all the times before.
Does some sadistic bastard god
enjoy this? He's a rotten sod.
Well, let's go have another fuckin' war.