Oscar and Arthur met up for some dinner
making a night of it out on the town --
"Oh, Oscar," said Arthur, "would you pass the pepper?"
"Dear Arthur," purred Oscar, "do you like my gown?"
Oscar and Arthur were men of experience,
varied and broadened and oftentimes queer:
"I served on a ship," Arthur said, "in the Arctic."
Said Oscar, "I've tupped every boy in Algiers."
Said Arthur, "My heroes are upright and noble."
"And handsome," said Oscar, "and lively and gay!"
Said Arthur, "Hang on -- you think they're up each other?"
"They aren't?" said Oscar. "Well, if you so say."
Said Arthur, "Look, Oscar, I think you're a madman.
Now I'm off home to marry old Watson away."
Said Oscar, "Oh, well, I suppose, if you have to --
I'll go write The Picture of Dorian Gray."
