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David Hines [userpic]

bring me the inventor of Google Buzz. so I may hurt him.

February 11th, 2010 (05:58 pm)

I am not on Facebook. Really, I am not on Facebook. In fact, I am *so* not on Facebook, that if I *were* on Facebook, my fucking status message would read "David Hines is not on Facebook." Google, however, decided that I would be much happier if I were on Facebook, so they made their own version of Facebook and added me to it, to which I say, "Fuck you, Google. Fuck you very, very much, very hard, with a sharp and spiky cactus, FUCK YOU."

There are a lot of things that piss me off about Google Buzz. For example: it is not at all immediately clear how the fucking thing works. I am on it, despite not wanting it, not knowing what it does, and not being able to find out what it does until I am on it, at which point I want nothing more than to sign out of it and have it and I not fucking exist as far as I am concerned. There doesn't appear to be a way to do that. What's more, I suddenly have a bunch of people paying attention to me, some of whom I don't know who they are. This is because Google Buzz is fucking inexplicable and enigmatic about its connections. For example: an asshole, whom I blocked, was following me; I took a moment to block him again. I hadn't exchanged contentious email with him in months, and the only way I knew it was him, to block him, was that he was not using his real name, but an incredibly distinctive pseudonym. Some people following me? I don't know who they are. I can't imagine what people who have multiple email stalkers, rather than occasional asshole correspondents, are going to do. Good fucking luck.

This reaction may seem weird, considering that I'm fannishly active under my own name, but if people come across something that I'm doing and they know who I am, that doesn't bother me. But there is nothing more I hate than people who feel compelled to tell everybody everyfuckingthing they do, and Google Buzz just tried to turn me into one of those. I compartmentalize: if you want to know what weird shit I'm up to in the course of a day, you can follow me on Twitter. If you want to read my fanfic and reviews, you can follow me here (DW or LJ, whichever). I live my professional life offline. Maybe this is weird, but this is what I'm comfortable with. And Google just took my comfort zone and said, "Y'know what? Fuck that."

Well, fuck you right back, Google. When Buzz has an off switch, let me know.

ETA: the solution, first pointed out by [personal profile] jamaillith on LJ and by [personal profile] anatsuno on DW: scroll allll the way down to the bottom of your Gmail inbox. See the teeny tiny blue letters beginning "Gmail view:"? One of the options down there is "turn off buzz." I clicked it. It went away. I only wish there were an option for "turn off buzz with extreme prejudice." Thanks very much, source of knowledge.


Posted by: jams (jamaillith)
Posted at: February 11th, 2010 11:17 pm (UTC)
comics - irom nan; speeding bullet

If you scroll down to the bottom, riiiight down there in tiny blue font underneath "last account activity", you can click a thing to "turn off buzz" and it goes away completely. Might take a bit longer to scrub away the dirty feeling though.

Posted by: peeps wanna see peeps boink (musesfool)
Posted at: February 12th, 2010 12:03 am (UTC)

Thank you for that. DO NOT WANT.

Posted by: ((Anonymous))
Posted at: February 25th, 2010 02:05 am (UTC)
Paranoid flailing

I hope you have heard by now that this is NOT sufficient to get rid of Buzz: it simply means you do not see Buzz activity in Gmail, but people can still "follow" you, see your Greader RSS feeds etc. and vice versa. You just do not see it in your Gmail view. So, not a real solution, in other words.

However, there is now a new option you can access via your Gmail profile to completely and supposedly irreversibly delete your Buzz profile -the one that was automatically created from your Gmail profile- and totally remove you from all Buzz functionality. This is what I did myself, except that I ended up having to do it about ten times because the first few times I tried to do this and save, my options remained unchanged.

Minor drawback if you want to keep your Gmail profile: it apparently also deletes it at the same time (because your Gmail and Buzz profiles are related or something). I don't have a Gmail profile myself and the required fields I filled in with random data, but if you personally do care about your Gmail profile, it's a small downside to totally erasing your Buzz presence.

Bottom line: the whole media attention to social networking is as usual being completely misunderstood and exploited incorrectly by big business... but what else is new? That is why it's a bad idea for us (LJ, DW and fandom in general etc.) to draw attention to ourselves publicly, IMHO.

I know that a lot of people disagree, but I've always thought that fandom cannot survive public exposure. This involuntary mix of our public and private activities is a natural result of it, I am afraid.

Though Google's hubris is of course the other major contributing factor to this Buzz cluster fuck. No disagreement is possible on that that point.


Posted by: peeps wanna see peeps boink (musesfool)
Posted at: February 25th, 2010 02:21 am (UTC)
Re: Paranoid flailing

Already taken care of. thanks.

Posted by: ((Anonymous))
Posted at: February 25th, 2010 02:58 am (UTC)
Re: Paranoid flailing

Good. It's just that the whole thing is really confusing...

And BTW, all of this is subject to change since Google has announced that they are going to completely re-think their approach to Buzz: so I guess we'll get a happy surprise in a few months.


Posted by: Vvalkyri (vvalkyri)
Posted at: February 12th, 2010 01:04 am (UTC)

Now, the question is whetehr turning off buzz leaves your public profile (including the contacts) accessible. I tried to go in and change who could see my contacts, but the full window wouldn't show right on my screen.

Posted by: John C Fiala (jcfiala)
Posted at: February 12th, 2010 02:16 am (UTC)

Yeah, down at the bottom, where you turn off chat, or switch to the older version of gmail. Or, y'know, you can search for 'turn off google buzz' online...

Posted by: Vvalkyri (vvalkyri)
Posted at: February 12th, 2010 04:39 pm (UTC)

Maybe. http://fugitivus.wordpress.com/2010/02/11/fuck-you-google

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: February 12th, 2010 02:35 am (UTC)

Huzzah. Many thanks.

Posted by: ((Anonymous))
Posted at: February 25th, 2010 02:08 am (UTC)
Just in case you had not heard...

Sorry, I replied to the wrong thread.



Posted by: Zornhau (zornhau)
Posted at: February 12th, 2010 08:51 am (UTC)
It also plucks your real name from the profile....

..without telling you.

So, suddenly, for all the people I've ever chatted, there's my real name bollock naked.

Is it me, or has Google gone up its own arse like a cannibalistic version of the Worm Ouroboros?

Posted by: Bummble (bummble)
Posted at: February 12th, 2010 03:07 pm (UTC)

Ooooooh, thank you!!!

Posted by: Also into cats (jamethiel_bane)
Posted at: February 12th, 2010 12:08 am (UTC)


*cough* I mean, I'm right there with you. The sign-out switch is down the bottom in tiny little blue font and I will NOT BE SIGNING ON, thankyouvery much.

Thank fucking CHRIST I keep my fannish/RL emails separate.

Posted by: vito excalibur (vito_excalibur)
Posted at: February 12th, 2010 03:11 am (UTC)

Srsly. So very happy about that right now.

Posted by: vito excalibur (vito_excalibur)
Posted at: February 12th, 2010 03:12 am (UTC)

I don't know who invented it, but I do know at least one of the guys who's been massively involved in implementing it. I'm trying not to hold it against him. >:(

Posted by: David Hines (hradzka)
Posted at: February 12th, 2010 04:15 am (UTC)

You are a kind, forgiving person whose generous disposition I greatly admire.

Tell the motherfucker if I see him, I'm gonna kick him in the nuts.

Posted by: Breaking news: I'M EVERYONE (ncc_gqmf)
Posted at: February 12th, 2010 04:08 am (UTC)

I'm with you! The whole thing skeeves me right the hell out. I like to choose my own social networking services, Google, thank you.

Posted by: ((Anonymous))
Posted at: February 12th, 2010 07:32 pm (UTC)

I am curious but are you the David Hines that did those excellent Buffy and Angel reviews back in the day because they were really good if you are??

Posted by: Domenika Marzione (miss_porcupine)
Posted at: February 12th, 2010 07:38 pm (UTC)
Yoni stupidity

Apparently 'turn off buzz' might not be enough:


Posted by: ((Anonymous))
Posted at: February 15th, 2010 02:06 pm (UTC)

So you get it automatically if you have Gmail? The other day I was trying to figure out how to try it out without a Gmail account. The last thing I need is another damned email account.

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