David Hines (hradzka) wrote,
David Hines

so this is what I did yesterday

At some point last week, my GF (who's from Taiwan) mentioned that despite spending a large number of Halloweens in the United States, she had never carved a pumpkin. My response: "TO THE PUMPKIN PATCH!"

(Actually, it was the grocery store, where I picked up a little pie pumpkin as being eminently suitable for fun-size carving.) The pumpkin sat on the kitchen table for a few days, while we went about other important business, like work and the Crash-A-Rama out at the speedway. Today she said, "Are we going to do the pumpkin today?"

Yes, I said. Yes, we are.

We settled on the design and outlined it in place. Then I cut off the top and the GF got to work ripping out pumpkin guts.


The GF was seriously enjoying this. I stabbed the pumpkin as needed to give her starting points. Then I handed the pumpkin over to her, and she did most of the carving. She attacked the pumpkin, with her face a study in fierce concentration. At one point, I assisted her a little and mangled the pumpkin. She suggested I go get lunch. She was taking this VERY SERIOUSLY. Me: "Do you want lunch?" GF. "I AM IN IT NOW."

A little later, she was still in it. "Do you want to put on football while we carve the pumpkin?" I suggested. "NO," she said, her teeth gritting. "THIS REQUIRES CONCENTRATION."

Then she handed it over to me for some finishing touches (that would not involve mangling), and this is the final result:


Yeah, by way of Hyperbole and a Half, it's the wee Allie Brosh pumpkin. Note that it is, in fact, terrifying. I'd originally leaned towards the "clean ALL the things!" one, but GF liked this one from "The God of Cake," and she was right: it's scary.

Here's the cake with the lights on, so you can see the true horror:


Happy Halloween, y'all!

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Tags: life

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