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David Hines [userpic]

Jimmy Carter and battle space dominance

February 16th, 2005 (01:17 am)

There is no way to say this without giggling: on Saturday, the U.S. Navy will commission a nuclear-powered attack submarine named for President Jimmy Carter.

...boy, way to strike fear into the hearts of our enemies, huh?

Actually, I'm delighted by the fact that we're naming a nuclear sub after President Carter (who is, after all, the only president to have served on a submarine). Not only is it a wonderfully silly honor pregnant with all sorts of irony, but it means we get Navy press releases like this one:

Jimmy Carter's flexibility and impressive capabilities will provide the Navy with an undersea weapons platform to operate in any scenario against any threat -- from under arctic ice to shallow water.

Armed with the battle-proven Tomahawk cruise missiles, Jimmy Carter will be able to safely conduct deep strike missions while submerged far off an enemy's coast. Jimmy Carter will also carries the Mark 48 advanced capability torpedo, the most reliable torpedo in the world for use against surface ships and submarines. With twice as many torpedo tubes and a 30 percent increase in weapons magazine size compared to the Los Angeles class submarines, Jimmy Carter will be eminently capable of establishing and maintaining battle space dominance.


Posted by: superheroes failing at oatmeal (some_stars)
Posted at: February 16th, 2005 07:30 am (UTC)
robin is funny! [by livia]

.....whoever got to write that press release has the best job in the world.

battle space dominance!!! oh, *Jimmy.*

Posted by: Doqz (doqz)
Posted at: February 16th, 2005 08:05 am (UTC)

You _know_ we're going to have to buy North Korea a cruiser named 'Bugs' now, don't you?

Posted by: mendori (mendori)
Posted at: February 16th, 2005 09:09 am (UTC)

See, this is even more funny for me because, apparently, JC is somewhere between a tenth and eighth cousin of mine.

Awesome. I have a family submarine now.

Posted by: hairymagicman (hairymagicman)
Posted at: February 17th, 2005 04:27 pm (UTC)
Re: *snicker*

Awesome. I have a family submarine now.

You won't be able to take it out on a date unless you keep a B average at school! :)

Posted by: Betty (brown_betty)
Posted at: February 16th, 2005 08:19 pm (UTC)

In my next life, I plan to be that press release.

You can't really take a submarine named "Jimmy" seriously. If it were James, I wouldn't be giggling so hard.

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