Archie Andrews/Proinsias Cassidy
"Oi! Betty! Veronica! Let's ditch the wankers, eh loves? Jughead my arse -- *shit* head, more like. Where'd you get that poncey fuckin' hat?"
Batman/Barbara Gordon (Batgirl)
...worlds of no. Certainly in comics.
Diana (Wonder Woman)/Jim Gordon
...y'know, it actually might be entertaining:
"We still haven't identified the mole in the department," said Jim. "I'm willing to draw him out, but security options will be limited if I can't even trust my own men. So unless you're going to escort me to the charity ball..."
"I called a friend," said Batman. He glanced up.
For one terrifying moment, Jim expected Superman to drop out of the sky and wrap a protective arm around his shoulders. Then he saw the flying figure and realized that Superman wasn't likely to be wearing an evening gown.
"Good evening, Commissioner," said Wonder Woman. "It's a pleasure. Batman has told me so much about you."
Jim turned to Batman, but he was gone. Of course.
"Well," he said. He let go of Wonder Woman's hand, hesitated, and then offered her his arm. "I suppose this isn't your usual evening out."
Wonder Woman let her hand rest on the crook of Jim's elbow. He saw the gleam of her famous bracelets, and had to restrain himself from touching one to satisfy his curiosity. "Do those really deflect bullets?" he said.
Wonder Woman smiled. "I could give you a demonstration, if you like."
"That's all right," said Jim. "I don't mean to gawk. Frankly, I'm just glad I'm old enough that I won't be looking down your dress at every opportunity." He blinked, then opened his mouth to apologize.
"Oh!" said Wonder Woman. "I'm sorry." She unhooked something from Jim's cuff link and tucked it back into her purse. "The lasso slipped out."
Jim coughed. "I guess that works, too, huh?"
She smiled, then pulled it out of her purse again and wrapped it around her hand. "I'm not offended," she said. "I think you're a very decent man. And more handsome than you think."
"All right," said Jim. "That's about enough truth for one evening."
Wonder Woman smiled. As she brushed past him to the stairwell, she said, "It's a start."
Sledge Hammer/Roy Harper
....ahahahahah. Sledge is too straight to slash, but these guys would *so* get along. Sledge is the outrageously right-wing date Roy would bring home to freak out Ollie. They'd talk about guns for *hours:*
ROY. "Best gun in comics?"
SLEDGE. "Jon Sable. Chinese Broomhandle Mauser in .45 ACP. Rare enough to be startling, plus it's stylish and of an acceptable caliber, unlike today's Army sidearm."
ROY. "Wanna have sex?"
OLLIE. "Jon Sable... wait a minute! He was a mercenary! He fought for white Rhodesia, fer Chrissakes!"
SLEDGE. "And it's that devotion to a noble cause that makes him stand out among the comic book heroes of today."
OLLIE. *dives across table in KILLING RAGE*
...well, they'd have entertaining conversations. This might actually make for an amusing one-shot.
Doc Savage/Jason Todd
JASON. "Mercy bullets? Jeez, *that's* weak."
DOC. "And two hours of exercise every morning."
JASON. "Crap. This is just like being back home. Except your clothes get ripped to shreds way more often than Bruce's do."
PAT SAVAGE. "Doc, your schemes to keep me out of the action aren't going to work. I've left the salon in capable hands. I've got new stockings, sensible shoes, a gun in my bag, and I'm ready to go."
MONK. "Hey, look! The mouthy squirt's struck dumb!"
HAM. "Am I mistaken, or did the missing link just refer to someone else as a 'mouthy squirt?'"
JOHNNY. "A superbly profound statement evoking the chief irony of this decade."
MONK. "Watch it, shyster! And you, dictionary."
PAT. "You got something to say, kid?"
JASON. "I think I'm gonna like it here."
Mary Jane Watson/Bruce Wayne
...you remember in the wedding issue when an "old flame" with an expensive sports car offered to whisk MJ away from her engagement to Peter and take her a gorgeous villa in Italy?
His name was Bruce. I'm just sayin'.